I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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