Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
