that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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