Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
