you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
