I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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