Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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