What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
