Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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