Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
