I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
