Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
