Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
