i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
