found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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