she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
