It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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