Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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