Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
