I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you didnt know i had herpes?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
