Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize