he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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