real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
