I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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