yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
