Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."

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(602): View more from Arizona

but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.

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(407): View more from Florida

you definitely have a few illegitimate kids

(1-407): View more from Florida

probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine

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(313): View more from Michigan

No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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(336): View more from North Carolina

after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.

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(620): View more from Kansas

What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.

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(559): View more from California

It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.

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