Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
