i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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