I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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