I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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