watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
