hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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