Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize