Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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