Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
