It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
