No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
