You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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