My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
