He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
