Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
