You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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