How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
