got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's blow job season.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
