i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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