i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The best revenge is premature balding
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
