I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
NoShamevember. You game?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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