I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
