Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize