This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
