he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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