I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
