Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
