love makes seman taste better
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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