I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
