I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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