I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
