You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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