What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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