Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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