If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We need a shit load of segways right now
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
