Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
