We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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