he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
