Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
