Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize