Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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