porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
