I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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