My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
