I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
