i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
