i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
