i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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