it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
