there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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