I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
