Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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