Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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