As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize