bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
