Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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