They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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