its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
