I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sext me about skeletons
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
