so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
