They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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